Use the topics below, and lots of paper, to set a plan in motion that benefits everyone involved. It’s a good idea to let each spouse write out their own thoughts and then come together to discuss and compromise the final decisions. Don’t forget to talk over the results with the children and ask for their understanding with changes they might not have wanted but are necessary for the family to get off to a good start. Stay flexible. The plan may need to be tweaked more than once.
1. Marriage
- A. When and where
- B. Check the baggage you brought along into the new family
- C. Emotional healing from the past
- D. Prepare with helpful materials and counsel
2. Commitment to "new" family
3. Where will we live?
4. Children names and ages
- A. _____________________________
- B. _____________________________
- C. _____________________________
5. Bedroom space
- A. Who needs the most privacy?
- B. Who can share?
6. Allowance given or money earned
7. Authority for stepparent
- A. Start slow
- B. Prioritize building relationships
8. School activities, sports and music
9. Co-parenting and time with "other" parent
10. House rules
11. Child care
12. Discipline
- A. Uniform rules
- B. Unite as a parenting team
- C. Children can help create consequences
13. Bills, bank accounts, previous assets
A. Yours, Mine, Ours?
14. Pets
- A. How many
- B. Shared responsibility
15. Household chores
- A. Age Appropriate
- B. Everyone helps
16. Family meetings
- A. How often
- B. Everyone has a voice
17. Church participation
18. Anger
- A. Always a secondary emotion—discover the primary emotion
- B. Resolve through communication
- C. No yelling
- D. No hitting
19. Extended "satellite" family members
- A. Who is on the list?
- B. How will we communicate?
- C. Respect for the ex
20. Substance abuse
- A. Identify the substance
- B. Make a plan to overcome
21. Forgiveness
- A. Comes from Christ
- B. Is passed on to others
22. Love
- A. Unconditional
- B. Not performance based
