Spring cleaning goes beyond housework. It’s relationship smart. As dark winter days give way to longer daylight hours and sunshine, we find added motivation to tackle the projects needing our attention. But don’t forget to spruce up those important relationships, too.
Satisfying
If you are anything like me, there is an endless amount of decluttering and reorganizing to do. From file cabinets to bedroom closets, garage storage to laundry room cupboards, . . . the list goes on. The bulk of these tasks isn’t classified as fun. To be honest, tedious and necessary is a better description. But after the work is done, I must admit there’s a sense of satisfaction, which is the sweetest of payoffs.
Relationships Can Need Tidying Up, Too
What about our relationships? Are they also in need of some extra TLC [tender loving care]? Unless relationships are given the attention they deserve, it’s possible for them to falter, too. To be relationship smart is to be aware of cobwebs that have crept in and are hanging overhead. Now is a great time to sweep them down. No one is happy when emotions are in an untidy state.
Deliberate Acts of Tender Loving Care
Because lives get busy, it’s easy to take each another for granted. This type of cobwebs should be a priority to take down. Otherwise marriage and family life is less than a satisfying experience. To avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings it’s important to remember to leave margin in our day for deliberate acts of tender loving care. This can be as simple as holding hands, engaging in meaningful conversations, acknowledging wrongs, and setting financial goals. Add fun to the mix is always a positive thing. Plan an afternoon outing for all to enjoy.
Be relationship smart. When little things come between you, be the first one who attempts to make amends. Life is too short to hold on to bitter feelings.
Be attentive to words, body language, and deeds that either build up or tear down. Harmony in relationships is God’s idea for us, and it is the path that moves us to receive life’s blessings.
Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14 NLT
What About Those Difficult People
All of us encounter difficult people. We simply don’t see eye-to-eye on a number of things. But to avoid prickly individuals doesn’t make things better, especially if we work alongside of them or share family ties. Pray for a path forward. Attempt to find common interests. Apologize if it’s needed. Take the initiative. Strike up a conversation. Saying something nice about her hair or the shirt he’s wearing. This small talk could lead to a pleasant conversation.
We might discover the bristly person is feeling left out and insecure. Be understanding. Often a lack of appropriate coping skills allows standoffish behaviors to surface. Acts of kindness can soften a hardened person’s shell and pry open a heart to let friendship enter in.
Active listening is a great place to start. Show genuine interest. If past issues are being triggered, speak the truth in loving ways. Be understanding and nonjudgmental. In God’s perfect timing, this person could become as smooth as peach skin and a friendship form.
Clean Up Our Calendars
Grab a calendar and chart how you spend the hours in a day. After a couple weeks you’ll know where your time is being spent. Where is it being put to good use? Where is it being selfish or wasted?
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalms 90:12
This simple exercise is all about being relationship smart. It reveals our top priorities. Where’s the balance—and the imbalance? When we see how many hours are given to work, or technology and internet pursuits compared to how much time is spent in meaningful conversations and fun with the ones we love most, it’s easier to clear the clutter and realign our lives. Spring cleaning is relationship smart.
Prayer:
Lord, we are a needy people whose priorities can get off track. Show us how to create balance in the days we’ve been given. Open our eyes, minds, and hearts to look beyond self-interests. Awaken an inner desire to passionately pursue habits that nurture enjoyable relationships. Grant us greater wisdom as we look to You, our Rock and Redeemer; our ever-present help in ordering our days. Amen
Coaches Corner:
Cleaning up relationships is work. Especially if the relational trash has been allowed to pile up. Take heart. There’s no reason to give up. Now might be a good time to talk with a life coach who could guide you in achieving a new beginning. I’d be honored to come alongside you. The first 30 minute online session is always free. Contact me at https://www.rebuildingfamilies.net/life-coach/.
*Photo courtesy of istockphoto-1212744296-612×612
