Holiday Tips for Blended Families

Christmas day draws near. These holiday tips for blended families are full of helpful insights. They might make the season happier for many of you. Stepfamily, blended family, families have unique issues to manage.

Plan

1. Plan well in advance of the holiday so there are no last minute surprises to disappoint, heighten anger, or add stress.
2. Respect the other home. Be as polite—and as flexible—as possible. Don’t over personalize the arrangements being made. The goal is to coordinate calendars between homes to create a positive holiday experience for the children. This can be done via telephone, email, or in person. Do your very best to be on time.
3. Inform your children of the holiday schedule by posting a calendar or chart in his or her room so the plans are clearly understood and easily remembered.
4. Discuss, between homes, the “bigger” gift items that will be bought for your children so they are not duplicated. Perhaps you could both contribute money to one item. This models teamwork, healthy co-parenting, and less burden on the budget.
5. Gifts given per child can be limited. Blended children have multiple sets of parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles. If possible, ask these individuals to give the gift of “lessons,” or an age appropriate magazine subscriptions that will have an ongoing fun and educational impact rather than receive one more toy in an already full toy box.

Honor Old and New

1. Honor the other parent by helping the child select a gift for that person.
2. Traditions, old and new, are important enough to keep. They are the memory makers that bond us to one another generation after generation. Include those traditions the child has become accustomed to being a part of. Then make it a goal to create new traditions for the newly formed family. Add a new tradition each year. Get input from all family members. (i.e. attend midnight mass, a live nativity, a singing Christmas tree, place a potato in a stocking as an Irish blessing of good fortune)
3. Remember the boys and girls who do not go to another home. They might be sad when their brother or sister isn’t there on Christmas day. Take this opportunity to pray for happy holidays for those at home and those who are away.
4. Keep tearful, clingy emotions in check when your child leaves for the other home. Your son or daughter needs to be assured you will be okay while they are away. Yes, you will miss each other, but sharing time with the other parent is a normal part of being blended. This gift of healthy emotions frees your child up to relax while they are away from you.

Create Fun

1. Relate to one another with fun activities. Bake cookies together. Decorate the tree when the whole family is together. Go caroling together. Bundle up and head for the snow with sleds. Don’t forget to make a big snowman!
2. Prioritize time so you are available to enjoy the holiday season with your family. Family is our most important responsibility. Make this the Merriest Christmas ever.

Celebrate the Christ of Christmas

1. Celebrate the Advent season. (Or lessen the number of activities by the number of days until Christmas) Jesus is still the reason we celebrate Christmas. Advent Calendars are found everywhere, but why not make your own. Let the children help with this activity. Come up with fun ways to look forward to Christmas day. Divide the days leading up to Christmas by the number of people in your family. If there are four people, each person should contribute an equal number of ideas to the calendar. Get a large calendar page from an office supply store or learning center, or make your own from construction paper. Then cut out colored flaps to cover the individual calendar days so the “surprise” is kept secret until the day arrives. No peeking! Have the box of chocolates on hand for the whole family to enjoy one piece each night just before uncovering the Advent “surprise.” Some ideas for your calendar might be:

1. Give to others in your community.
2. Help a family in need.
3. Buy a Poinsettia and learn its history together
   
4. Tell the story of the Candy Cane.
5. Enjoy a traditional Christmas movie night. (The Christmas Story, Frosty the Snowman, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas…)
6. Drive through an outdoor Christmas light display.
7. Bake and decorate cookies.
8. Go on an ornament search.
9. Get a Christmas tree.
10. Pray together.
11. Facetime message or call a friend.
12. String popcorn or make popcorn balls.
13. Make gift tags.
14. Play a game.
15. Have a scavenger hunt for a hidden gift. The gift could be a ceramic figurine of Jesus in the manger.
16. Write Christmas cards for special relatives.
17. Discover what Bethlehem might have been like long ago.
18. Have some puppet fun: Mary and Joseph, the Wise men or the shepherds.
19.  Buy dinner out tonight.
20.  Hang the stockings.
21. Read the Christmas story aloud.